Kim Holman's Journey

Monday was a significant day for me as I went for my regular monthly blood work and checkup with my oncologist. In addition to my usual CBC and creatinine blood tests, my oncologist also ran the CA 15-3 blood test, a tumor marker used to monitor breast cancer. The normal range is less than 30. Back in January, my score was 186, and it was expected that my medication and radiation would initially increase this number before it started to decrease. On Monday, the first time tested since January, my score was 21! While this doesn’t mean everything is “normal,” it certainly indicates that we are moving in the right direction.

Last weekend was truly heartwarming as I had a visit from all three of my children, their spouses, and my grandson. Although I saw Buddy when I picked up Calum, Micah was the only one I missed seeing on Saturday. Ben still holds the title of the tallest male in the family (my nieces are still taller), and Calum has claimed the family chess championship. I didn’t win any of the Settlers of Catan games, but the time spent together was priceless.

I’ve been reading several books since starting this journey, and they’ve provided me with immense comfort and insight:

• One-Minute Prayers for Those with Cancer: This book has been a daily source of strength for me. Almost every day, the short devotional I read is exactly what I need for that moment. It’s clear that these brief thoughts and prayers were written by someone who has experienced cancer firsthand. I highly recommend it to anyone facing this challenge.
• The Night is Normal by Alicia Britt Chole: This book, along with its study guide, has touched parts of my soul that I didn’t realize needed healing. We often think that the Christian life should be “blessed,” meaning everything is “OK.” However, it’s in those times of spiritual pain that Jesus can meet us and help us grow.
• Radical Remission: Surviving Cancer Against All Odds by Kelly Turner: This book explores the practices and techniques of holistic healers and radical remission cancer survivors. It has helped me develop a plan focused on my health and wellbeing. I no longer feel guilty about going to bed early because I understand the importance of sleep for my recovery. Instead of prescribing a specific diet or supplements, this book encourages you to make dietary changes and explore supplements that can benefit each individual.

So, why the title for this post? For Christians, this is Holy Week. The disciples and followers of Jesus thought they knew what their future would be like, but it took a radical turn when Jesus was crucified. That wasn’t the expected ending. Similarly, I thought I knew what my future looked like, but the cancer diagnosis changed everything. On Sunday, when the women and then the disciples found the empty tomb, they realized there would be a different future. Likewise, seeing my CA 15-3 count in the normal range gives me hope that I still have a future, even if it’s different from what I had planned. What I do know is that my future is in God’s hands!